Half Birthday

An aside on N-A drinks... I was at a party in January and I had brought along a couple bottles of non-alcoholic whiskey and rum alternatives to give to the host. One of the other guests (probably deep in his cups) started making comments, repeating over and over something along the lines of, "for other people, that stuff is ok, whatever, but it's not for me, man."

I found it to be a very odd thing to harp on about so many times, and read the subtext of the comments as: "When other people drink fake alcohol, it makes me feel uncomfortable because I want to get real drunk, and other people being in control of themselves makes me question my own choices and I am not in a place for self-reflection." It was steeped in a sort of toxic-masculinity. That this person's character is diminished by other people having a good time in a way that he considered a mockery to "real alcohol".

The points that myself and the host made were that not everybody can or wants to drink and that this is a way they can join in without concern. That it is a way to have fun and enjoy yourself and be able to leave and drive away safely at any moment. I made the point that a lot of the appeal of substance abuse is in the rituals and habits that are formed around it. For alcohol, that's a nice glass with ice clinking in it, and the act of mixing a drink, or having a drink poured for you. To be able to replace the abused substance with something that does less harm (it can still be sugar and empty calories) allows a person a path of redirection. 

This is probably the longest I’ve gone without drinking alcohol as an adult. At least intentionally so. It has been very good for me.  I’m lucky that it has been easy. When I set my mind to something like this (quitting a thing), it’s relatively easy to follow through when I give myself a timeline.

While I very much enjoyed getting drunk, I seem to have an issue with all/nothing when it comes to alcohol... When I drink, I do it to get drunk – wasted off my ass is preferrable - which is obviously unhealthy. I enjoy the feeling. I feel like if I let myself drink again, I’m going to fall back into that... So while I know I’d like to drink again... I don’t know if I should.

Still, I’ve got another half year to contemplate on it. I hope whatever I choose, I do so in a healthy way.

Fat-Loss

My second goal is to get down to 140 lbs. I am right on track. I was ahead of track before the holiday season and I gluttoned my way through more food than I ought to have, so I started to go back up into the 170s for a week or two, but I’m back down again and still declining. I have descended below the 160 mark and am solidly now in the upper 150s. 

During 2023, I was starting to breach the 185 mark and was getting closer to 190, though it fluctuated down as far as 175. I was around 182 before my birthday in August, so I am counting 180 as my starting point. So aiming to lose 40 lbs in a year and being 20 lbs down, I’m right at the halfway point. 

20 lbs in 6 months means I’ve got to lose roughly a little less than a pound a week which is, as I understand it, right in the sweet spot of a reasonable amount to aim for in cases similar to my own. If I actually lose 1 lb a week, I will hit 140 about a month and a half ahead of my goal date. If I can make that happen, I move on into the second phase, if not start aiming for 130, which I haven’t been since high school.

My main goal at this point is essentially a long-sustained cutting phase to reduce my overall fat % without losing too much muscle. I’ve been walking for 30 minutes just about every single day. Including the days where it was hitting into the negative (F) temperatures outside. 

I even went snowboarding once before all the snow melted away (when it was 20 F out) – That was a really fun day, but it totally kicked my whole body’s ass. My legs (and arms – mostly used rope lifts) ached for days, but my abs ached for a whole week. I’d love to go again, but we need to get some more snow here to make it really worth the lift tickets.

I do well at following a workout program for a while, and see definite progress from it, but often end up staying at a steady weight while I shed fat and put on muscle in roughly equal weighted proportions. I want to get myself down to a more reasonable fat % as a starting point for my next goal which will be to put on more muscle.

I’ve been doing better about limiting how much I eat. Not necessarily what I eat, (though it’s particularly convenient that I already enjoy vegetables and I’m a damn fine cook). I’ve eaten fried chicken, ramen, burgers, chili, sloppy joes, fries, tacos, cookies, candy... Anything I want to eat. The real key is moderation. Just don’t eat to excess. Know the general calorie limit and try not to exceed it, or make sure to offset it with additional walking time. And be ok with being a little hungry sometimes. Just because I feel a little hungry doesn’t mean I need to eat, and even when I get really hungry, it doesn’t mean that I need to be stuffing my gullet as quickly and deeply as possible.

I’ve found that with eating less, my stomach capacity has reduced. This has been very helpful as well since I feel full faster and can’t eat as much by default. My mental well-being has improved. My body feels good. I’m happier about how I look, though I was never particularly unhappy with it. It’s more that I just feel better in my body. Clothing fits better. My energy levels still fluctuate, but I think they have improved. Just spending time to take care of myself is helping to build healthy habits and a better relationship with myself.

Beyond that, with the 30 minutes of walking, I’ve been doing language learning lessons and have been going strong in German, Spanish, and to lesser extents, French, Swedish, and Italian. I’m at a 620 day streak now.

Read A Book

The third goal I had set for myself was to read the rest of “The Stream of American History: Volume 1". A 933 page history tome that was lent to me by my father several years ago and which I had been stalling on and continually backburnering. I was only about a hundred pages in, so my goal was to finish reading the book by the end of a year. I finished reading it earlier in mid January and have started into the second volume. My stretch goal is now to finish that before the rest of the year pans out.

I’m actually juggling a few books now, including a re-read of “American Gods”, and I have, separately, the complete works of Poe and Shakespeare waiting in the wings. I slammed through “Carrie” in less than 24 hours. And there are several other books just kinda hanging out around the house that are also mid-process or waiting to be read.

All-in-all, I’m really happy with my progress so far. It feels good to have set myself some realistic goals and to see them coming to fruition. I’m looking forward to what the next half-year will bring.